Dating and falling in love are two very complex and serious life changing events. Selecting the right lifetime mate for yourself is no easy task. One of the biggest debates is whether it is better to select your mate for yourself or to have your parents select your mate for you as they do in some cultures. There are of course pro’s and cons to both. When two people join their lives to be together in a relationship, they bring along their innermost ideals as to what they hold dear in the world. Selecting your own mate can be a very tiring and tedious task. With so many different types of people in the world that function on a variety of levels, have different backgrounds and beliefs, etc., it can be difficult to sift through to find the right match for you. There are fundamental differences in the values of people. Individuals are different due to their background and how they see the world. People have different needs and different wants. Men and women are different in various ways. Some ethics are a strong part of the person's character makeup and are opposed to change. Some couples are even drawn to each other because at first they appreciate their partner's different ways of looking at the world. In some cultures, however, the parents are tasked with choosing a mate for their son or daughter. One of the benefits of this type of arrangement could be that you go through less heartache, pain, and trouble in the dating world. A lot of times parents also try to choose a mate that comes from wealth, as well as seemingly have healthy genes. This could be beneficial as far as financial stability and cutting down or out any genetic defects. Sometimes childhood friends even end up together, because as soon as the children are born they start planning the union which could definitely be a bonus to marry someone that you have known and been close to from a young age. There are downsides to this type of union as well though. More often than not children are betrothed to complete strangers that they know absolutely nothing about. This can introduce a clash of personalities, personal beliefs, and many other vital factors. If the particular culture the person comes from does not believe in divorce, this can leave someone stuck in a very unhappy union for the rest of their lives, and can sometimes even end in suicide or murder. One mate or the other will see no other way out and kill themselves or their mate to pursue someone they deem more suitable for themselves. Mate selection is no simple task for anyone and can sometimes take half a lifetime just to find that right person that meshes well with and complements who you are as a person. After the honeymoon phase of the partnership, problems come up when there is an obvious difference in values of the couple. Part of the problem is often due to improbable expectations for the relationship. It is a sad fact that people have set up such high standards for their relationships. In our society, some people expect to get all of their emotional needs met within the relationship. The impractical expectation that one's partner can meet every need for intimacy is wrecking many marriages. Spiritual people seem to have even higher expectations than others. With increasing expectations for the partner lies the risk for lack of personal contentment and endurance of the relationship. High expectations, and focus on the partner's weaknesses rather than their strengths, result in individual unhappiness and may pose a threat to the relationship overall. Efforts to change the other person, even though well intended, may become an even greater obstacle. For some individuals, continuously trying to change the partner is the biggest issue they run up against. Larger so than the behavior in their partner that they are trying to modify. Some people keep themselves livid and upset through their bond to their belief that they cannot be happy unless the partner changes. The result is poor self-esteem, isolation and continual frustration. Blaming and distancing characterize the relationship. Later the behaviors that seemed originally so stable or liberating in their partner seem to wear thin. What they formerly valued in their partner becomes an irritant. The Big Game of Life begins in earnest. Then the war begins to try to make the partner over to be a carbon copy of their own values. “Once I believe something bad about your behavior, I look for data to confirm it.” Instead of seeing their own need for control and insistence on having things their way, the other person becomes the enemy. These similarities stem from basic value differences and world outlook. Whether or not you favor marriage as a social institution, there's no denying that it confers many rights, protections, and benefits -- both legal and practical. Some of these vary from state to state. A few examples are; Filing joint income tax returns with the IRS and state taxing authorities, Inheriting a share of your s