How hard is it to discuss a trip plan with my mom? You don't want to know. When I was preparing to take the SAT test, some of my friends and I hoped we could fly to Hong Kong together. Therefore our parents could save their time and we could have some freedom as well. I thought about the plan seriously and thoroughly before I came to discuss it with my mom, but I was still anxious. I knew it would not have a happy ending. I picked one day, when everything was going well. My mom appeared to be in a good mood. I washed some fruits and took them to my mom's room, sat on the sofa next to her, and said, "Mom, some of my friends plan to go to HK with me to take the SAT test. We can book the flight and the hotel together. I think it is convenient and economic for us. Can I go with them?", I asked with trepidation. She replied almost without thinking, "No, you cannot go there by yourself. It is dangerous. Moreover, the SAT test is so important that we cannot take any risks. Have you considered the accidents and the worst-case scenario? What if you lose your luggage in the airport? What if some bad guy molests you? What if you miss your admission ticket or your passport? What if you can't fall asleep the night before the exam?  All the time, she found me still her little girl, needing her protection and concern. But she didn't realize that I was already 16, although not an adult, I still need some independence and respect. Deep in my heart, I knew she meant for my own well being, but I felt hurt and upset by her distrust and overprotection. Stepping into the parent's shoes, I could understand her concern and love, which I would also show to my kids in the future. I also knew that it could hurt her feelings if I did not obey her. However, I didn't want to be an ordinary good girl. I wanted to become a strong independent young woman. That's why I didn't compromise and decided to fight for my independence in this matter. I think if my mom had admitted that I had grown up and considered my suggestions seriously instead of rejecting them without thinking, I would have been more open to her concerns and advices. I was a little unhappy due to her objection and argued, "I am not going to HK by myself; I am going there with my friends. They have experience of going to HK and we can take care of each other. I think it is a good way to train my independence and develop relationship with my friends who are also to American colleges. I tried to clarify my intention in this conversation and pursue her by reasonable argument. I admit that I was defensive because I already assumed her intention were to reject me, as she usually did. My defense made her more defensive and angry. She wanted to show her authority over me but I resisted. Such a vicious circle kept happening between my mom and I. She was too obstinate to admit her fault, while I knew that I was too weak to make qualitative changes. But I didn't give up. My strategy was to just influence her gradually and "help" her realize that I had grown up. She became impatient and annoyed, as if I was acting against her on purpos