I closed my eyes and gripped the blade tightly in my shaking hand, taking in a deep breath, trying to hold back my tears. I pressed the point firmly into my wrist and exhaled as I made a nice, clean cut among many other now faded scars. As I opened my eyes to watch the blood ooze from the new line in my arm, the waterfall of tears poured out, taking my black eyeliner and mascara down my cheeks with them. All the pain and stress of the day that built up inside me, was released with the blood. The burning in my arm took away from the agony burning inside my heart. I longed for death. I longed for the feeling of nothing. All the grief lifted off my shoulders and my spirit set free. I watched with a grin as the thick red fluid dripped to the floor. I imagined each drop as every bad thought that ever crossed my mind. As every person who refused to sit next to me in class, or even talk to me. As every heartbreak I ever had the misfortune of going through. All of the negative inside me trickled down to the ground. My thoughts were shattered as I felt my wrist burning more than usual. I looked down at the mess as my blood gushed out. I hadnt realized how deep I had gone. I had never gone this deep before. I dropped the blade and held my wrist trying to get the blood to stop. I didnt know what to do. I was losing so much blood. I knew this was the end. My floor was soaked in the red liquid and all I could do was sit there and watch as my life drained out of me. I grabbed my pill bottle and, with a shaky breath, swallowed every pill in the bottle. I didnt want to wait until I ran out of blood. This would be faster. I closed my eyes and imagined what my parents would say when they found me. Would they be surprised? They never even knew I was a cutter. Would they even care? I breathed out a sigh. A sigh of both fear and relief. It was finally over. I had longed for this day for many years. Deaths sting had finally got its hold on me. I wasnt expecting for this to be the end, but I was glad it was finally time. No more pain. No more having to pretend I was okay when inside I felt like my li