As TV and media become more prominent, people have begun to idolize what they see and hear from these sources. It’s as though whatever comes from these outlets must be true. One’s ability to judge and make beneficial decisions are clouded by the all new gadget that a given infomercial is scolding the viewers to buy. The Onion sets out to poke fun at this behavior, and show how we have become. With a style of diction laced with humor that is targeted at an industry of advertisement and peoples gullibility, and the extent to which they present their information, this article is able to effectively satirize how consumers fit in the product market schemes of today. Through subtle, higher level bits of humor; the article targets the prodigious and ridiculous diction of real advertisements. In a nonchalant manor, the article declares that with “no fewer than five forms of pseudoscience,” the sole inserts will “stimulate and soothe.” This feeds the tragic idea people have where more is always better. Just the use of the words “stimulate and soothe” creates a false sense of conform and well-being. The Onion even goes far as creating its own scientific diction, mocking the terminology and tone in real advertisements. A normal nucleus is changed to “pain-nuclei,” and what is probably supposed to be neutrons becomes “comfortrons”, teasing the points where a product is labeled as super effective and has maximum strength. They go as far as to create a new branch of science, Terranometry, defined as the study of the Earth's frequency, and our alignment with its frequency. They sound legitimate as well as convincing, so the gullible viewer has no reason to believe otherwise. At the end of the satirical diction, The Onion takes it a step further as they hit the extremes, where infomercials promise the impossible and quotes from the misleading, cured patients. The MagnaSoles has the ability to “utilize the healing power