"Beep, beep, beep...". That’s all I’ve been hearing for the past week, the sound of Ryan's EKG machine. I've been spending most of my time here, sitting right beside him as he fights for his life against cancer. As I look around the room I see the light blue walls and Ryan laying on the hospital bed connected to all different machines. I see my life falling apart right in front of me. Ryan my first love, the one who has been there for me through it all is now spending his last few days in a hospital bed. I look at him as he rests, my eyes are filled with tears and I hold his hand tightly. "How’s he doing?" I hear a voice asking me from the door. “Not any better.” I answered the voice. It's Ryan's best friend Zack. Zack and I have been spending a lot of time together here in the hospital. We both want to be here as much as we can for Ryan. We take turns staying with Ryan so he is never alone. Whether he’s sleeping or awake one of us are always going to be sitting here by his side. There’s awkward silence in the room as Zack sits in the chair beside me. We both want to be here for Ryan when he wakes up. I look at my magazine while Zack looks around the room. Suddenly I feel Zack’s eyes looking over at me, but when I turn my head to him he looks the other way. I just ignore it and continue flipping through the pages of the magazine. He looks at me once more and I cut my eyes at him wondering what he’s looking at. “What is it?” I ask him. “It’s nothing, never mind.” “No. Just tell me what you’re thinking.” I insist. “Well it’s just that you’re so connected to Ryan, but soon he’s not going to be here anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as connected, he’s like a brother to me. But maybe you should try and distance yourself a little so you don’t get as hurt.” He says. I immediately get really angry and defensive and I begin pacing back and forth through the room. “Why are you thinki