The rain drizzled down on the windshield of the car collecting as small beads that steadily grew until it slid down the glass or until it conjoined to another bead, but in the end, still dripped down the windshield, gathering more beads along the way. The fallen drop left a trail of itself as it fell down the glass like a tear. It reminded Brian of his own tears and he quickly whipped them off his cheeks. He had been sitting in his car for nearly an hour now staring out the windshield blankly. Why? He asked himself. Was it me? It had to have been me. I’m just not good enough. I never was. The memory was burned in his mind as if with a hot iron but he wished it were the hot metal instead. It would hurt less. Why? He asked himself again. Why would she do that? And with him? I gave her everything. I tried so hard. I just wasn’t good enough. The drive to Makapu’u trail had been the longest Brian had ever made. A couple times he swerved over the line into the oncoming lane as he ran from his house in Kailua where he found them. He had decided that day to leave on time from the office to get home early instead of working overtime as he usually did. He regretted that mistake as soon as he unlocked the door to his house. He heard them before he even saw them. But there they were, Kira looked over her bare shoulder and it took her a second to realize it was Brian in the door way. The man she straddled sat up off the couch and let out a muttered, “Oh shit” as both he and Kira began to gather up their clothes. Brian’s memory got foggy after that. He barely remembers the fight that ensued or the drive along kalanianaole that got him to the lighthouse trail. His heart hurt more than the bruises on his knuckles but he still felt the dull pain as he grasped the handle of the car door and stepped out into the parking lot. The rain had subsided and cool salty air mixed with the smell of the damp island blew across his face. He walked