The HSPE this, the HSPE that, was the only thing we heard about from day one. Even during freshman year we were told to prepare for this test that determines whether or not we get to graduate from the “best years of our lives.” The one thing I dreaded the most about high school was my HSPE test. It felt like if I didn’t pass I would never amount to anything and I would never get the job or life that I had always wanted. For me the HSPE was my life, all throughout freshman and sophomore year all I could think about was my test. Mr. Johnson was always really concerned and focused about us passing this essential test. As the year progressed so did my anxiety. I caught myself shaking sometimes when I thought about it. My hands would sweat and my heart would race. Even though I knew I didn’t need to be nervous about it - it was still six months away Every day I would dread Mr. Johnson’s class because I knew that all of the blinding thoughts would rush back into my overloaded brain. Closer and closer the day came, still haunting me with its every moment. Days, weeks, and months passed, then all of the sudden it was only a month away. The day that I finally realized how important this test was is so vivid in my mind that it seems like yesterday. I walked into my English class, best friend by my side, then I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks. As Tory was freaking out beside me thinking I was hurt I was just standing there having a metaphorical heart attack. All I could think of is having to write my three essays and how many mistakes I could make and still pass how much would I have to write? How long will I take? Will I be done first or last? Am I going to start crying like I did last major test? Oh God please don’t let me fail! How would my parents react if I fail? If I pass with a perfect score? With all of these thoughts I didn’t even realize that I was standing in the door way and everyone was standing behind me confused.