Prologue Long ago in a galaxy far far away, there was a trio of siblings with the last name of John. The three were raised by two baboons in the bowels of South Cacalaki. Their favorite meal was chicken fried in watermelon juice with a side of blueberry waffles, collard greens, pig’s feet, and a glass of sparkling grape kool-aid to drink. When any of them felt they were struggling in life, they would go to their neighborhood-friendly church to converse with their soul family members. Also at the church, they would sing songs from Soul Train: a program that aired every Saturday night at 7:30. That was the only night La-a (pronounced Ladasha) and her brothers Balaké and Tim could stay awake until after 6:00. La-a’s favorite song was Shanghai by Nicki Minaj unlike her brothers preferred old-country-pirate-metal; especially, their favorite song, Metal Beard’s Wagon by Sir Shreds-a-Lot. The baboon-parents were sure to keep their children satisfied by working their well-paying jobs at McDolands. They worked almost all hours of the day, every day, except Saturdays, on which they took off to enjoy an evening of watching Soul Train with their kids. Also Sundays were always devoted to going to their Church and learning about the bible. Eventually the three siblings grew up to discover their destinies as parkour-Jedi-knight-wizards. One day, as three roamed the streets for trouble, an alien-spacecraft from the tenth dimension appeared and began to abduct them! Balaké and Tim were immediately sucked into the metal contraption. “Beam me up,” they both screamed. La-a grabbed and nearby stop-sign and firmly grasped it. The creature in the flying ship pressed the Ultra-Vac button, but to no avail, La-a never lost her grip of the stop-sign. “CURSES,” the alien yelled as he prepared the spacecraft to return to his universe. It turned the ship around and pushed the throttle fully forward. Before La-a could even blink, the craft disappeared in a fiery bang followed by a twinkle far off in the distance of space. “Tim! Balaké,” La-a cried. She couldn’t believe her brothers were gone; even worse, gone where? “I need some help!” Meanwhile on the spacecraft, Balaké and Tim were constricted to cold, metal tables by metal rings around their