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The Crisis of Dating Violence

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Parents never imagine their children as well as teens to be in such a violent and difficult situation like dating violence. Many of us do not think about why it happens, who it happens to and how it really affects the person and the victim’s loved ones. Dating violence is abusive behavior towards the person with whom you are in a relationship and the abuser can either be the boy or the girl. Domestic violence is similar to dating violence because in both situations there is abuse, one in a marital relationship and the other in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. The types of abuse are physical, emotional, verbal, cyber and sexual abuse. It may start little by little or just start violently right of the bat. Teen dating violence and domestic violence is high among younger couples around their teen years to their early or middle 20’s. Abusers think of many ways to keep their victim by their side, no matter what it takes. Based on the study Dating Violence is common among Young Americans, many young girls have reported to being a victim of dating violence, mostly including sexual abuse, as guys have reported to committing it. Nobody ever imagines who is being abused, and who is an abuser because they may portray or disguise themselves as a loving and caring person around other people, but once alone with their partner it can be a totally different story. Dating violence continues to be a problem among young couples for reasons including low self-esteem, lack of self-control, overly aggressive behavior, and family violence within families tends to be cyclical. People might object to these reasons for dating violence and might turn it over to cultural differences. The fact is that some cultures look at women as second-class citizens. For example, the Middle East requires for women to be fully covered up, and they do not have the same rights as men. It is said that in some societies they hold values that not only permit, but encourage the use of violence. Stereotypes of cultures may say that some are more violent than others, as some of the "violent" cultures may be African-American or Hispanic. According to researchers R. Emerson Dobash and Russell Dobash, men who abuse their wives are actually living up to roles and qualities expected. Both women and men suffer of low self-esteem due to many reasons, but one of the major ones is excessive criticism from parents, friends, and acquaintances. The constant reminder of not being good enough or not doing things how they are supposed to be done makes a person not even want to try any new things. All this could lead to a violent relationship. A person who has low or no self- esteem could be a victim of abuse. Not only that, they could develop narcissistic personality disorder which makes them think they're superior to others and don't have sympathy for others. A study showed that people with narcissistic personality disorder were more likely to enter a violent relationship only leading to self-destruction ("Narcissistic personality disorder," 2012). The self-esteem of one's person can be destroyed by many things such betrayal from a previous partner. This makes a person question it's his or hers actual worth as a human and a love partner. They start to see their flaws which may not even be there, but believe they were left for someone better. When this kind of person gets into another relationship and see it in jeopardy, the person would lose his or her dignity just to keep their partner and not be left again. Once the partner finds this flaw in them, it starts to get used against them and this is where the violence starts. Violence starts and it's like the snow ball effect starts out little then it's too big to stop. According to Joshua (2008) betrayal affects the women more often the man for the reason being that men cheat more often than girls. Peer Pressu

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