Thank god she has left. I love you mum and know you are worried about me please; I need some time to myself. I try not to completely blame Daniel for what has happened; I try to stay positive but how? I’m now an anchor to my family, banished to either a bed or a wheelchair so they can scratch an itch or wipe my arse. Why couldn’t I have died, like Luke, like Nicole? Life being hand fed, life in bed, it’s not worth living. I remember that wretched night like it was yesterday. Daniel was in one of his rages and he was piss drunk too. I didn’t want to be with Daniel in the car; I was scared of what he would do to Claire. With what he was prepared to do to me I wasn’t going to let him get to her. But why did Nicole, why did Luke? They had no means to be with Daniel. I can picture that bastard in front of me. I remember thinking of Claire whilst you were driving, of her smile and then of how we fought because of her. I should have laid you on your arse for what he had done to that beautiful girl, but up until then you were an idol to me. I followed you through thick and thin and the rages of yours Daniel. I thought that they were an abnormal occurrence, but the way you treated her was pitiful and the way you thought you were top (S), like the world revolved around you, Daniel Brennan. In your eyes there was no one else. I don’t think that was because of Kath or Jo’s parenting, you’re just the bad egg but growing up with you was good you hid that inner rage from me and you were ashamed of it. But you embraced it, just once but because of that you killed two innocent people and left me as a (F)ing quadriplegic. Your anger fueled your actions; you were ready to put your cousin who idolized you, poor Fin 6 foot under. You weren’t thinking of what would happen to your family, me or yourself even and because of that you are rotting in gaol where you should be drowning in your own thoughts. I remember parts of the aftermath of th